Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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