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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it glows. i had to have it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
