Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
