I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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