It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
did i just pee glitter
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