Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
