I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
