i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
