If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize