My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
