AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
