just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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