You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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