Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Small penises have feelings too.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
