Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
