we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
