She went from zero to smokin in five shots
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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