even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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