So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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