Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
