My hand turned me down
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
