Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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