You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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