I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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