My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
