Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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