Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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