Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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