So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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