school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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