wrigley field is MILF paradise
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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