He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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