Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
