Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
