I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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