Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
