I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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