worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
