you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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