if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
