ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
