Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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