idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
