Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
