So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
