there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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