we have officially lost it.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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