I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
COCAINE IS GR8
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