Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
