I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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