if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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