Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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