Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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