So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
