Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
