what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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