maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
